Don't Wish Away...

My high school band director once told us that he never wished time to pass quickly, even if times were bad, because once that time is gone you’ll never get it back. It reminded me of the old saying: “don’t wish your life away”. I always thought that was good advice, but sometimes just impossible to follow. Take now, for example. I would absolutely love it if time would skip ahead a week. Just one week. A week from today all will be well again. Finals will be over and I’ll get my life back, if only for a month. And if that’s time I’ll never get back? Well, I figure I’ll block it out after it’s passed anyway, so what’s the difference?

That thought struck me this morning as I lay in bed listening to my alarm go off. It struck me all three times my alarm went off, as a matter of fact. I also thought about how much I did not want to get up, and how much I did not want to go to work. I even, very briefly, thought about calling in sick. That’s the thought that finally got me out of bed. If I called in sick then law school would have won. I’d be able to call in sick tomorrow, and the next day….and after all that being “sick”, I’d still not have accomplished any studying. I’d have sat on my couch and watched tv. Maybe I would have glanced at a law book, and maybe I’d have even picked one up now and then, but I wouldn’t have been productive. After all that soul searching, I realized that I’ve hit my wall. A week too early. It’s going to be damn hard to study this week.

Not that it’s ever been easy for me to study. In all my years of schooling, I’ve never come up with a good, productive way to study. I was able to write that off in the past by telling myself that by this time I either know the material or I don’t, so what’s the point in studying? Unfortunately, the grades are too important and too hard to get this time around for me to get off easy. Darn it! So I have to struggle through another week of studying, knowing that each time I open a book that it’s not going to help me as much as I want it to, and in the end, it’ll still all come down to the fact that either I know the stuff by now or I don’t…

So regardless of not wanting to wish my life away, I’m going to do it this once. I’m going to wish it was next Monday.